Song Assassin: Diary
The target for today is a sweet little ballad written by David Gates of the popular group, Bread. “Diary” was released on April 22, 1972 and made it all the way to number 15 on the pop charts (say that last sentence in a Casey Kasem voice). If you are not familiar with the song, or if you’d just like to hear it again, here’s where you can find it:
Diary
I found her diary underneath a tree. Ok, we begin the song with carelessness. She just left her diary underneath a tree? Was this accidental? Is she just that trusting? Did she just think, “I’ll just leave my diary with my most private thoughts, here underneath this tree.” I’m sure it will be fine.” And really, who actually keeps a diary? Why the hell would you set yourself up for the humiliation of having some douchebag finding it and making a song about it? I’ve never known anyone who had a diary. The only people who kept diaries were TV characters… and I guess ladies in songs.
and started reading about me. Is that what you did, you pompous ass? You started reading about YOU? I would think that her diary would be about HER! Secondly, why would you just pick up her diary and start reading it, you dick? You care so little about her right of privacy, and the fact that you are invading it, that you are telling everyone, IN SONG, that you are reading her diary?
The words she'd written took me by surprise. Did they?
You’d never read them in her eyes. Really? So you are not just an expert at reading other people’s personal stuff, you are also skilled at reading eyes? Wow! Why you ARE a catch, aren’t you?
They said that she had found the love she waited for.
Wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it. This should be your first clue, dumbass! If she didn’t show you that you were the love she’d waited for, why would you believe that she was writing about you? The song should be over here, Dr Deduction! She found the love that she’d waited for, but shows no indication, in her eyes or anywhere else, that she’s all that crazy about you.
When she confronted with the writing there, kind of a weird combination of words.
simply pretended not to care. She PRETENDED not to care?
I passed it off as just in keeping with
her total disconcerting air is that what you did? You passed it off as just in keeping with her disconcerting air?
The words she'd written took me by surprise. Did they?
You’d never read them in her eyes. Really? So you are not just an expert at reading other people’s personal stuff, you are also skilled at reading eyes? Wow! Why you ARE a catch, aren’t you?
They said that she had found the love she waited for.
Wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it. This should be your first clue, dumbass! If she didn’t show you that you were the love she’d waited for, why would you believe that she was writing about you? The song should be over here, Dr Deduction! She found the love that she’d waited for, but shows no indication, in her eyes or anywhere else, that she’s all that crazy about you.
When she confronted with the writing there, kind of a weird combination of words.
simply pretended not to care. She PRETENDED not to care?
I passed it off as just in keeping with
her total disconcerting air is that what you did? You passed it off as just in keeping with her disconcerting air?
*Disconcerting air kind of sounds like another term for the aftermath of someone passing gas. “What the hell is that, Bill? Was that you? Dear God that is some disconcerting air!”
“Obviously this chick’s crazy about me. The fact that she admittedly ‘doesn’t show it’ means nothing. She is writing about me in this diary that she left underneath the tree. It’s all about me. It’s that disconcerting air of hers that makes it look like she couldn’t give a rat’s ass about me. You know those women and their disconcerting airs”
And though she tried to hide
the love that she denied,
wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it. Not to beat a dead horse here Chalmers, but it surely doesn’t appear that she has too much love to throw your way. Denied or otherwise.
And as I go through my life, I will give to her my wife Wait, she’s your wife? Are you really married to her or is this just the way you see things shaking down? Does it say somewhere in this diary that she’s waiting for Mr. Privacy Invader to pop the question?
all the sweet things I can find. All the sweet things you can find? So you are looking for sweet things? And when you find them you will give them to her? That’s so sweet! Now put down her fucking diary!
I found her diary underneath a tree
and started reading about me. You still feel no guilt here, do you? And so far, you still think this is all about you?
The words began stick and tears to flow. Ok, here we go.
Her meaning now was clear to see. NOW it’s clear to see?
The love she'd waited for was someone else not me. This is where the bells and whistles start going off like when someone said the secret word on Pee Wee’s Playhouse!
And though she tried to hide
the love that she denied,
wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it. Not to beat a dead horse here Chalmers, but it surely doesn’t appear that she has too much love to throw your way. Denied or otherwise.
And as I go through my life, I will give to her my wife Wait, she’s your wife? Are you really married to her or is this just the way you see things shaking down? Does it say somewhere in this diary that she’s waiting for Mr. Privacy Invader to pop the question?
all the sweet things I can find. All the sweet things you can find? So you are looking for sweet things? And when you find them you will give them to her? That’s so sweet! Now put down her fucking diary!
I found her diary underneath a tree
and started reading about me. You still feel no guilt here, do you? And so far, you still think this is all about you?
The words began stick and tears to flow. Ok, here we go.
Her meaning now was clear to see. NOW it’s clear to see?
The love she'd waited for was someone else not me. This is where the bells and whistles start going off like when someone said the secret word on Pee Wee’s Playhouse!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWnXN1FLR5o&feature=related (forward to 1:47)
Wouldn’t you know it, she wouldn't show it. Actually, I WOULD know it!
And as I go through my life, I will wish for her his wife. So now she’s HIS wife? You’ve given up that easily? I guess it’s time to go find another diary, carelessly left out somewhere for the world to read. Certainly when you find it, it will undoubtedly be about you.
all the sweet things that she can find Oh I see, now that you have graciously bowed out, she must find the sweet things herself. You’re on your own, bitch! Find your own sweet things. I was going to find them for you, my wife. Whatever!
All the sweet things they can find. “Ok, you know what? Why don’t you just get him to find them with you? Your loss!”
Seems to me she left the diary out on purpose. She was gambling on the possibility that he knew how to read.
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